mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
