apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
