Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
