i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
