Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
