I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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