you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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