I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
