Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
