the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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