I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
