Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
