you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize
