Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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