Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
