I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
