were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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