You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
