Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
