actually, I'm a sock model
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
