oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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