well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
