sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
