Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
