So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
