are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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