I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
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