I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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