You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
MIDGETS
????
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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