do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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