Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
