How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
