people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
