Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I forget how to act sober
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
