So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
