I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
