someone get that fucking seahorse.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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