God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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