walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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