your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I wish you could order shots online.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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