yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I think I am morally bankrupt
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
