I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
