I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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