Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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