I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize