hell yes lets make some ravioli
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Randomize
