Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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