Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
