I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
