dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
