I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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